Writings of Recovery

Living Amends…And The Winner Is…

When I gave my first fifth step to my sponsor, I learned about living amends.  To move forward in life, making ongoing, meaningful changes in behavior. Committed to accountability, personal growth, pressing into the spiritual principles of honesty, integrity, etc.

What relief I experienced when I first heard about living amends. I felt like I had been given a ‘grace card’; the invitation and opportunity to do better next time. What’s past is past. A boulder was removed from my chest that day, and although I am still working on the debris, there is breathing room in my chest and my heart now, where once it was trapped.

Recently I had this awareness…

Back at the beginning of working the OA program, whenever I heard someone say they were a ‘double or triple, etc.’ winner, I would internally either ‘tsk -tsk’ in judgment and I would feel bad for them for having to pursue multiple programs.  Now I realize that those multiple winners are truly, unironically, unsarcastically, winners. These amazing fellows are committed to making living amends every single day to their loved ones, to those in recovery, and to the world at large. They do this by actively working the steps and using the tools, accessing and applying the wisdom from different resources, then incorporating these lessons, blessings, principles, insights, awarenesses, into acting, NOT REACTING, to whatever life sends their way.  These are the fellows who are laying down ’12 step plan approved bread crumbs’ to guide my recovery and journey to wholeness…as I now walk my own multiple programs. For that, I am grateful.